Monday, February 28, 2011

Oh Matthew!

As many of my friends and family members know, Matthew (soon-to-be 8) is a veritable font of innocent kid quips. While Andrew is, as my mother calls him "the Professor", Matthew gives us life through the eyes of, well, Matthew.

Here are some of my favorite Matthew interactions.

Matthew asks for a bowl of Trix for an after school snack. I pour him a bowl. He says it's too much and proceeds to put about 5 pieces of cereal back into the box before proclaiming that now it's just right.

Matthew: "Daddy, can I have an ice cream sandwich?"
Daddy: "No."
Matthew: "Yay, I get to have an ice cream sandwich!"
Daddy: "I said, no."
Matthew: "I'm so happy I get to have an ice cream sandwich!"
Daddy: " Hellooo! I said no!"
Matthew: "Daddy, can I have my ice cream sandwich now?"
(Ah, the power of positive thought.)

Andrew was explaining to Matthew that you can't foresee the consequences of changing the past. That it would be possible that if you stopped Lincoln's assassination you could end up with monkeys ruling the world.
Matthew's response: "Are they mean monkeys?"

Matthew (when he was almost 7) finds the sheet for Andrew's spelling bee --
"Mom, look, the thing for Andrew's Spelling Bee. Hey, why isn't there a Spelling A?"

My hope is that he'll continue seeing the world through his own eyes and not be affected by how those around him see things. He's such a free spirit, and I'd hate to see him lose that. It's such a precious trait and will serve him well. He's my out-of-the-box thinker and keeps me on my toes!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Can Boys Watch Too Much Military Channel?

So, I have to say that being a mom to two boys is really pretty cool. As I was pondering some of those things, I started to think about things that little boys are interested in that typically girls aren't. Which leads me to the following question...

How do you know if your kids are watching too much of the Military Channel?

1. Driving home from school...
Me: Matthew, how was school?
Matt: Art was fun!
Me: What'd you do in Art?
Matt: That's classified.

2. Driving to BK...
Andrew: I really want to write a mean letter to someone... Must be the testosterone.

3. Matthew informed us that he is an "innocent civilian child."

4. Driving to go grocery shopping, Matthew sees the Girl Scouts out selling cookies in the lot. He asks if we can buy some. I tell him we don't have any cash, but we'll return. He says we can "infiltrate" them from behind, he will run and yell at them, then we can duct tape them and get the cookies.

Nuff said.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Hair? What hair?

So, I'm sitting here at the computer and started thinking about why people would actually want to read what I write, especially about the kiddos. Then I thought "Cause the s***'s funny." Well, at least it's funny to me.

Take, for example, an incident that happened last school year. Matthew, the youngest, gets into the car after school. He's practically in tears that he would be in BIG trouble over a note that the teacher sent home. So I look at the note, which, btw, is attached to a sandwich baggie with hair in it.

This should be interesting...

The note said:

"I found this hair under Matthew's desk after school yesterday. I asked him this morning & he said he cut his hair because it was in his eyes when he was working."

His hair wasn't THAT long! Really! In any event, hubby and I laughed so hard. Poor kid didn't know how to respond. But he had the distinct honor of being the first kid in his 1st grade class to cut his hair in school.

Monday, February 7, 2011

The End of Fairytales?

So, a few months ago, I was sitting at the computer and my 11-year-old comes up to me. After a minute, I got tired of him hovering over my shoulder and asked him what was up.

Me: What's up?
Him: I wanted to ask you a question.
Me: Ok, ask.
Him: Is the tooth fairy real, or are you the tooth fairy?
Me: You want the truth?
Him: Yes.
Me: I'm the tooth fairy.
Him: I knew it!

Flash forward to a few months after that conversation, just before Christmas. Same scenario.

I'm sitting at the computer, and he's hovering again.

Me: What's up?
Him: I wanted to ask you a question.
Me: Ok, ask.
Him: Is Santa real?
Me: You want the truth?
Him: No, that's ok...

I guess the lesson that I learned from this is that by a certain age, kids know the truth, but really really like to keep believing for as long as they can. Sometimes, I wish I could, too.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Why I Love Having Young Kids at My Age

So, most of my friends from high school started having kids younger than I did. Some are even grandparents now. It's weird, because it makes me feel old, but then I look at my kids (in elementary and middle schools), and feel a little younger again.

I've learned a lot from my kids. They make up words, they are sarcastic just like me and my husband, and we have some interesting conversations. For example:

Took Matthew to McD's the other night to get some "crack for kids", otherwise known as nuggets.
Matt: Mom, do you know why McDonald's chicken nuggets are so good?
Me: No, why are they so good?
Matt: It's the grease!

Picking up Matthew from school:
Me looking in the rearview & not seeing him: Matt, what're you doing?
Matt: Looking at my shadow. Hey, you don't have eyes in the back of your head... & neither does daddy!
Me: Then how come I know when you're up to no good?
Matt: (silence)

I added a new word to my vocabulary -- 'aloneless': the condition opposite of crowded or accompanied by others. Apparently, this word exists only in 'Matthew's Unabridged Dictionary v.1'.

I learned that a place can be "infested with people" -- courtesy of Andrew.

I've also learned that spelling bees can have some of the dumbest words. Andrew (my straight-A student) was recently caught off guard because he was supposed to spell "yippee". Seriously? Yippee? He missed the word after correctly spelling "warrior". Go figure.
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